did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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