it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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