Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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