Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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