we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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