I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
