You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My first STD was from a foam party
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
