it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
