Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
