Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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