so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
