I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
