stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
