I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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