so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
