did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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