Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
