guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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