What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
