I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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