Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
