Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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