I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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