so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
