i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Farmville is her only friend.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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