Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I party with great urgency now.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
