well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Its about making memories worth repressing
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Randomize
