and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
