idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
is it fun? or sober?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
