It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
