So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
