it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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