Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
