meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
