you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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