You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
