No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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