their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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