I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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