coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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