So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
