oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The uberlube is also flammable
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
