Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
