no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
