Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
