Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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