You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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