You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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