New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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