It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
